Discover what you're really good at

If you ask elderly people what they regret, it's often not the things they did do, but precisely the things they didn't do. The trip they never took. The choice they didn't dare to make. The opportunity they let slip by because they thought: maybe I'm not good enough for that. And that's exactly where the core of discovering what you're really good at lies. You don't figure it out by just thinking about it. You discover it by doing things. By trying, experiencing, and sometimes also by finding out what doesn't suit you.

You can't think your way to knowing what you're good at

Many people want to know for sure whether something suits them before they begin. They keep thinking about questions like: do I actually enjoy this? Am I actually good at this? Does this fit my future? Isn't this a waste of time? But often that thinking ultimately takes more time than just trying it. You can spend months doubting about a course, a trip, a different job or a new hobby, while one afternoon of shadowing, one trial lesson or one conversation would have given you much more clarity.

Sometimes people already draw a conclusion in their head before they've tried something. "I'm probably not good at that." Or: "That's not really something for me." But how do you know that if you've never done it? Maybe it's true. Then you know that too and then you won't think later: "I wish I had tried that?". But maybe you'll discover that you grow surprisingly quickly in something.

Trying isn't a waste of time

To figure out what you're good at, you mainly need to do lots of different things. That doesn't mean you have to immediately turn your whole life upside down. It can also start small. Take a short course. Go along to a sports class once. Shadow someone for a day who does work that interests you. Do volunteer work. Start a small project. Travel alone. Try something for a weekend that you would normally never do. Every experience gives information. Maybe you'll discover that something totally doesn't suit you. That's not failure, that's clarity. Maybe you'll notice that something energizes you. Then that's a signal to look further.

The problem is that we often only consider choices valuable if they directly deliver something. But precisely things that don't seem super useful on paper can give you ideas. During a trip you might meet someone who does work that you didn't even know existed. During a short training to become a fitness instructor you might discover that you find coaching interesting, but not in the fitness industry. During volunteer work you might notice that you're good at organizing, explaining or motivating people. So you don't need to know exactly what something will deliver beforehand. Sometimes you only discover the value afterwards.

Your twenties are precisely meant for discovering

Especially twenty-somethings often feel pressure to choose quickly. You have to choose a study, gain work experience, determine a career path and meanwhile also know what you want 'later'. As if you should have chosen a definitive direction for the rest of your life by around age 25. But actually your twenties are precisely the phase when you can really discover for yourself for the first time what suits you. You're no longer stuck with school subjects or expectations from others. You can choose yourself which people you meet, which environment you seek out and which experiences you gain.

That's why it's actually logical to try things out during this period. Go backpacking. Live abroad for a while. Do a short training. Try a different part-time job. Work a summer at a place you would normally never come to. Not because everything has to immediately determine your future, but because you get to know yourself better through new situations. Without experiences you also can't know what you really enjoy.

What you're good at, you often find more enjoyable

What you're good at and what you enjoy often go hand in hand. When something comes easily to you, you gain confidence faster. You notice that you're making progress, get positive reactions and feel that you have a grip on something. That often automatically makes it more enjoyable. It works the other way around too. When you enjoy something, you spend more time on it. You practice more, look things up, talk about it or keep busy with it without it feeling like an obligation. That makes you better.

That's why it's important to not only look at what you can do immediately, but also at what makes you curious. Maybe you're not good at something yet, but you do want to keep learning more about it. That's often a stronger signal than immediate success.

So pay attention to questions like:

"What energizes me?"
"What do I naturally want to get better at?"
"When do I lose track of time?"
"What feels challenging, but not annoying?"
"What do I stay curious about?"

The answers to those questions often say a lot about where your talent might lie.

Start smaller than you think

You don't have to immediately quit your job or leave for a year abroad to get to know yourself better. Make trying smaller and more accessible.

Are you curious whether teaching suits you? Give someone tutoring or make a short instructional video.
Does sport and coaching seem interesting? Take a trial lesson or short training.
Want to know if traveling does something for you?
First go away alone for a few weeks.
Thinking about entrepreneurship? Sell something small or help someone with a project.
Are you curious about creative work? Make something small every day for 30 days.

The goal isn't that everything immediately works. The goal is that you gather information about yourself.

You discover it by doing

Discovering what you're really good at doesn't start with certainty. It starts with action. You don't need to know beforehand whether something suits you. You also don't need to immediately be good at something. You mainly need to give yourself the chance to try it. Because every experience makes something clearer. Sometimes you discover what you don't want. Sometimes you discover a talent you didn't know you had. And sometimes you meet people or ideas that you would never have encountered in your normal environment. You don't figure it out by solving everything in your head. You figure it out by doing things. And maybe that's ultimately exactly why people later mainly regret what they didn't try.